Breakups & Abroad

Let's start this cliché yet informative post off with some wise words by the talented Dr. Seuss, shall we? The man writes, "I'm sorry to say so, but sadly, it's true, that Bang-ups and Hang-ups can happen to you." Change the phrase 'bang-ups' to 'break-ups' and you'll see where I'm getting at. If you find yourself newly single over on the other side of the world, don't fret! Here are my tips to help you cope with being dumped while abroad.

1) Block them on social media. By doing this, along with being 3,900 miles away, you've literally cut off any chance of emotionally (or drunkenly) begging them to take you back or visa versa.

2) Eat as much buffalo chicken dip as your body can hold. It doesn't have to specifically be the delicious and savory snack, but go ahead and binge eat for a day...or two...or three. However long you need to!! But eventually, chill out and get back to eating grilled chicken and broccoli.

3) Let yourself be mad and sad. They broke up with you during a really vulnerable time in your life (unless you're completely good with being in a foreign land and not knowing a single person). The key is though, that you blocked them on all social media! Use that rage to go on a run and burn off all the calories you just binge ate the previous few days. The sadness is a little more difficult to overcome. My friend Emma always comes to me when she's upset, and I tell her to go ahead and fully embrace all the sadness she is feeling. Lay in bed and cry about it until you physically run out of tears or exhaust yourself to the point of sleep. But when you're done crying, make sure that you never cry about the same thing again. Weirdly, it's always worked for me!

4) Stop being mad and sad. I understand breakups are hard...and shit: they're even worse when you don't have your friends around to help pick you up off the ground. But the thing is...stop and take a look around you. You're on the other side of the world, doing the most incredible things, seeing the most breathtaking places, and surrounded by the most extraordinary people. You're only here for a small amount of time...the blink of an eye really. So, don't let yourself be mad and sad for any longer than a day or two--you'll regret that you wasted your time.

5) Understand that the people you meet at the wrong time are the wrong people. If you guys break up because of the challenges that come with study abroad, then they weren't the right person for you. It doesn't matter if you're gone a semester or a full year--the right person will wait for you, regardless. The right person is timeless.

6) Unblock them on all social media. We're adults, so grow up. Let yourself become comfortable with seeing their lives through social media. This way when you get back and have to see them in person, it's an easier pill to swallow. Plus, you have to let them see how amazing your life is as you travel the world and experience this once in a lifetime trip!

7) Realize that right now, your life is so much cooler than theirs. I know it's kind of petty, but it will make you feel 345423% better. Yeah, you're single now...but you're single while living a hella cool new life while their stuck at home, sitting on the coach while watching reruns of Friends.

8) Start meeting new people. I'm in Denmark, okay? In so many ways, it's much like America. But just as how I've never met a Dane, most Danes have never met an American. I'll let you in on a secret...they love us! So many people have wanted to speak with me and I've even been called "exotic"; I'm a white female...5'4...brown hair and brown eyes. What I'm trying to say is this: embrace the fact that you're a foreigner and talk to as many locals as you can. It's so inspiring to hear about the culture you're now being submerged in.

9) Go on a Date with a Local. Who knows...maybe you're just not meant to be with someone from back home! While I can't imagine the best way to get over a relationship is to jump into a relationship with someone whom you'll have to leave in a few months, it might be fun to experience what a date is like in your new country! I'm not saying the whole "the best way to get over a person is to get under another" philosophy is good or healthy...so PLEASE don't think that (especially you, mom and dad). I guess what I'm really trying to say is that when the cute half-Austrian and half-Australian guy asks you to go out for a drink on Thursday...do it! What's the worst that could happen?

10) Come to the realization that the world is massive. If you're a firm believer in soulmates, I admire your romantic side and honestly hope you find that one person. But if you share a more realist view on love like I do, then here is my advice. There are so many beautiful people in this world, and there is someone for everyone. I think there is more than one person that you can live a happy and fulfilling life alongside. Travel the world and meet all 7.5 billion that there are to meet! If you still haven't found someone after doing that, then we'll set you up on Match.com or something.

11) Learn to be comfortable being alone. This final step is one that I am still working on and hope to have achieved by the time I get back home at the start of 2018. While laying in bed one night, I watched the movie "How to be Single". Although it's a comedy, there is a quote at the end that has stuck with me. It goes, "The thing about being single is, you should cherish it. Because, in a week, or a lifetime, of being alone, you may only get one moment. One moment, when you're not tied up in a relationship with anyone. A parent, a pet, a sibling, a friend. One moment, when you stand on your own. Really, truly single. And then...It's gone." If you were to put your phone down for even an hour...you'd be completely disconnected from every single person you've ever known. Isn't that scary? But god, isn't that riveting and extraordinary and captivating? Don't take it for granted. You have nothing to hold you back and no one to be accountable for. Go out and view the world in a way you never would have been able to before.